


To Save One Life...

by Siriusfan13



Series: Originally posted under my penname, Sake Sucker, on fanfiction.net [5]
Category: Rurouni Kenshin
Genre: Angst, Gen, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:14:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26116267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Siriusfan13/pseuds/Siriusfan13
Summary: Kenshin has left, and Hiko is left alone, pondering what has brought them to this point, and trying to explain what his deshi could never understand. Please R&R. Thank you!
Series: Originally posted under my penname, Sake Sucker, on fanfiction.net [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1859116





	To Save One Life...

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I shockingly do not own Ruroken. I know... big surprise, given that I'm posting this to a fanfiction site...

_"Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire."_

_-The Talmud_

* * *

**To Save One Life...**

The scene replays for the hundredth—no, probably the _thousandth—_ time since you left me. Our anger. Our frustration. All of it blinding the both of us. It was a fire that burned away reason.

Yours was, of course, more open than mine. I learned to mask my emotions years ago. But you always were one to wear your passions on your sleeve. So, whereas my anger and frustration and _worry_ weren't noticeable in my ki, let alone my expression, _your_ emotions were obvious... In your actions, your eyes...

Your words.

You thought me a hypocrite. Like a monk who is too busy praying for the poor to feed a hungry man at his doorstep. I teach you a style of swordsmanship meant to protect, but then I confine you to this mountain for constant training. I refuse to sanction your mad desire to take part in this foolish war. Refuse to join you in your idiot quest to "save those who are suffering".

You never thought to ask me why. You argued and railed at me. You threw a tantrum until I gave up and washed my hands of you. But you didn't ask for a reason. Stupid of you. When have I _ever_ done anything without reason?

For once, however, I have to admit, I was being too self-centered to back down and explain. I knew I was a good teacher. That you, despite my often accurate nickname for you, were still an impressive student. I just assumed you could figure the reason out by yourself. I had forgotten how different experience had made us. The difference between ronin and farmer. And between a man who had spent his life failing to protect a people too stubborn and blind to be protected and a boy born of that very set of people.

I'd grown so used to you training with me that I hadn't thought of those small details. Because of this, I didn't bother explaining my reasons. That was _my_ mistake.

We both suffer for it.

So, though it is far too late by now, I will explain. I will pretend that you're here to listen. For my peace of mind, if nothing else.

Why did I refuse you? Why was I such a hypocrite that I wouldn't help you "save" those people? Because, Kenshin, you can't save people who don't want to be saved. And believe it or not, _everyone_ doesn't want you to save them. Some people relish in their suffering. They draw their identity from it. And they will fight those who try to protect them from it.

Though you come from those same people, you are very different from them. And you don't know them like I do. You're still young enough to think you understand everything and everyone, but in the end, you know nothing of importance. You left me as an untempered sword. You will break.

You don't know how much I hate knowing that.

You don't even know _me_ as well as you think you do. I was not always as I am now. I was not always so strong and sure. Once, I, too, was young and naive.

I had used Mitsurugi for years before I met you. I had tried unsuccessfully to save hundreds of lives before I realized how pointless it all was. I had given up, only taking part in those problems that happened to fall at my feet. Like yours. Usually I avoided these things altogether. You were lucky, though after the hell you're going to experience now... maybe you would have been better off without me.

Still, your caravan was in my path, and something made me take part for a moment. I don't know why. I saw bodies all around. At first, I didn't see you. When it all was over, I was left facing the one living creature left in the mess. You were only a child, your caravan dead. You, covered in blood and surrounded by dead bodies. You stood there with a sword in your unskilled hands. You must have known that you'd have no chance. That no one was coming to save you. But you intended to save yourself and anyone else you could. Your eyes still burned with a passion to _live._ You weren't counting on someone like me to come along and save you. I was only there by luck. And you know something... of all the people I've tried to save in my life, _you_ were the only one with a strong enough will to survive.

Living is harder than dying, Kenshin. I'm sure you understand _that_ at least. But do you also understand that many of the people you're trying to save would rather not deal with the work of bettering themselves? They'd rather die quickly than fight to live. And the ones who _do_ cry out for a savior don't necessarily want to save themselves. They want someone else—someone like you _—_ to take the risk.

But, no. I should have realized that you wouldn't understand this. You may be one of them, but you are completely separate. You were different from the beginning. Otherwise I wouldn't have wasted my time. You were the first person I had ever met who could appreciate the sanctity and responsibility of life. Who could taste the poisons of the world, yet somehow not be tainted by them. Who could remember that there is life in death.

 _That_ is the sort of person you can save. _That_ is what Hiten Mitsurugi is meant to protect. We can't protect the whole of Japan. The strong live. The others-the weak who you want to save-whether they die or not is up to them. We are only meant to save those brave enough to be saved. I wish it weren't so.

I wish you had stayed.

My thoughts have strayed...

Our angry parting runs through my mind, burning like a fresh wound though should now only be a faded scar. I suppose wounds like this never quite heal.

I told you then that you were wasting your time. That you had no chance.

Now, I'm left sitting here knowing that I'm right. Yet, hoping for your sake that for once I am wrong.

You can't save the entire world, Kenshin. All you can do is save a few lives and hope that each of them might save a few more.

Eventually—though I doubt within my lifetime, probably not even within yours—it may be enough. Until then we must satisfy ourselves with what can be done of our own free will. _Not_ as part of a corrupt, self-serving unit.

As you must be now, you will never save them. But if you survive. If you somehow internalize what I tried to teach you, then perhaps one day our actions _will_ be able to save the world entire.

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: Big thanks to lolo popoki for having to read and beta this thing, not once, but twice (you should pity her). The only reason this fic makes any sense at all is because of her! Of course, another big thanks everyone so much for reading. This fic was a real bugger for me to write, so I really appreciate the readership.
> 
> Have a nice day!
> 
> Sake/ Sirius


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